Help Me Save My Marriage – 4 Critical Tips!
With the unprecedented amounts of divorce taking place today, it is little wonder that disconsolate couples are looking for marriage counsel and many are crying out, “Please, someone help me save my marriage“! Divorce is a devastating, painful process and takes it’s toll in many different forms, not just financially. The lives of two people are changed forever, and if children are involved the problems and complications that will affect them, due to the split-up, can be exponential, leaving hurts and wounds that may take a life-time to deal with and heal.
If your marriage is teetering on a precipice, now is the time when you must put together a proactive plan and do all you can do to change the tide. Realize that it is you who is going to have to take some initial positive and practical steps and not hold back expecting your partner to start the ball rolling. Be encouraged, though, because many times when one partner takes that initiative and injects some positive changes into the relationship, even a marriage that seems beyond repair has the potential to be salvaged.
If you have been wondering, “Where can I find some sound advice to help me save my marriage”? then you will want to keep reading. I have listed 4 helpful tips below. Don’t overlook their simplicity. If you put them into action you will be pleasantly surprised with the results.
Help Me Save My Marriage Tips:
1. Stop all criticism and complaining about your spouse and your marriage. You must break from the routine of negativity immediately. It will do nothing but drag your marriage down further and widen an already too wide of a chasm between you and your spouse. If you commit to breaking off all grumbling, complaining and criticizing you will be absolutely amazed at the positive change that will begin.
This involves a conscious effort and an aggressive action plan. You must prepare yourself to monitor your words and thoughts very closely. Be prepared to be strict with yourself. You need to adopt a no tolerance attitude when it comes to criticizing, or any form of negativity, directed at your spouse. If you feel it coming on or find yourself already in it, stop immediately and switch gears. This may prove quite difficult at first, but it will be very eye opening. You will probably discover that this very destructive behavior has become a much bigger part of you than you care to admit. Realize that no one enjoys being part of a relationship that is rife with criticism, complaining and negativity. Cut these out and you will likely see your spouse respond in a positive and encouraging manner. This is a critical piece in the, “help me save my marriage puzzle”, and you will be wise to implement it as soon as possible.
2. Another important piece of “help me save my marriage” advice is: Concentrate on and pinpoint all the positive attributes of your marriage. This may prove difficult at this point when things seem to have gone from bad to worse. But I’m sure you can come up with some things you still appreciate and enjoy or at least things you used to.
Remember the things that attracted you to your partner and all the special things that made your marriage so great in the beginning. It would be beneficial to draw up a list of these positive, special remembrances and put it someplace where you can get at it easily and often. It is true that the things we focus on grow in importance. If you take the steps and put in the effort of focussing on all the positive aspects of your marriage, that attitude will just naturally spill over and begin to impact your relationship in a healthy, positive manner.
3. Following along the same lines as the second “help me save my marriage” advice tip above, you will be wise to find ways to build your partner up through compliments and praise. This must be done in an authentic and “from-the-heart” manner. In other words you better mean it! She will sense a fake a mile away. To be appreciated and valued is a human need and one we all desire. And these core desires are generally the first to suffer when a marriage begins to fall apart. The compliments stop, showing appreciation goes out the window and they are replaced with each spouse resorting to finding fault with one another and seeing the negative in every situation.
If you see this negative pattern forming, STOP immediately and do a 180! Again, don’t try to drum it up or lay it on extra thick, she’ll sense insincerity easily… it’s what they do, a gift they have! Just be real and share what is on your heart in a genuine and loving way. Don’t underestimate the power of a loving compliment or some encouraging heartfelt praise. They are intricate, yet overlooked and under-appreciated, pieces in the “help me save my marriage puzzle”.
4. One last piece of great marriage advice is, be patient. The worst thing you could do would be to pressure your spouse in any way. Yes, you need to let your partner know that you are invested 110 percent into making your marriage work, but do this gently and respectfully. Let them know that the communication lines are wide open and that you are more than willing to talk and to do whatever it takes to work things out. If the situation has degenerated to a point where you are not communicating with your spouse, then let her/him know that when they feel comfortable you are available and ready to listen.
There are many books and courses that offer great marital advice, but if the true cry of your heart is “help me save my marriage”, then these simple, but effective, steps are a great starting point. Taking action on these will prove to your spouse that you highly value your marriage and are ready, willing and committed to doing whatever it takes to heal the hurt and pain, that have been caused, and that you will do whatever is necessary to bring love and joy back into your relationship.
I completely believe that if your genuine heart’s cry is “help me save my marriage”, you are going to be successful. I encourage you to apply what you have just read. It is so worth the effort – Give it your absolute best!